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You’re not a Victim of your Life

August 14, 2015

Meeting Expectations


Why aren’t you on the path of greatness?

“I don’t think I have what it takes to succeed…”
“No one is helping me.”
“My background holds me back.”
“I don’t know if it can be done…”
“I didn’t finish school…”
“My parents weren’t there to support me…”
These may be valid obstacles but they aren’t a good enough reason or excuse to be mediocre in life. What most people don’t know is that these obstacles aren’t powerful enough to stop one from achieving great things. We need to wake up to the reality that leaning on these excuses only makes us victims, and victims and never win. Yes, we would have liked the support of loved ones and the opportunity to finish school, but if that didn’t happen, dwelling on it now cannot help us. Our purpose in life isn’t dependent on what others do or don’t do but solely on us.
You can come from a broken home and still thrive in life. You may have suffered in some area of your life but still be productive. You can be bruised by circumstances and still be effective, functional and inspirational. We need to stop leaning on what happened to us because that doesn’t define who we are. The only thing that hinders our progress and growth is how we see ourselves. If we view the painful things that have happened to us as “life shattering”, we remain shattered for life. But if we dare challenge our pain, we discover that there is more to us than we thought.
No matter who left, no matter who stayed, no matter what we lacked, no matter what we suffered, it does not take away from our ability to be great today. That’s what I like about greatness, it is within, it cannot be silenced by a bad upbringing, it cannot be ridiculed by lack of education, greatness within does not care who was not there for us, if cultivated properly, greatness shows itself even in the ugliest and dirtiest places because greatness is not threatened by the challenges we face. Poverty cannot silence greatness. Gossip cannot derail greatness. Not even our foolish decisions can cause greatness to distance itself from us. Greatness is within, no amount of pain can destroy it. The only thing that has the power to abort our greatness is our perspective- how we think. The day we take on a role of a victim in life, greatness will cease to exist.

We are not victims of our lives. Whatever happens to us happens to teach us something and to prepare us for what lies ahead. Let us not miss the lesson by choosing to be bitter. We don’t lose people in life to become cold and resentful, we lose people to learn to appreciate those around us. Even if there were opportunities we would’ve liked that we didn’t get, we learn not to lean on what we didn’t have but to maximize what is left. We have to broaden our thinking because if we start viewing ourselves as victims of our circumstances, we cease to see beyond where we are.

I once heard of a story of two boys who were raised by the same man, their father was a drunkard, abusive to their mother and neglectful of his responsibilities as a man. They were very poor and struggled to make ends meet. The older brother grew up and became just like his father. When asked how he ended up that way, he said, “I became what my father was.”
The younger brother however, was a completely different story. He spent his teen years finding odd jobs to help his family put food on the table. Since they couldn’t afford to go to school, he asked kids nearby to teach him how to read and write. One of the managers at the shopping centre where he worked saw potential in him and sent him to school. Today, that young man is a successful businessman who neither drinks nor smokes. He was once asked to share the story of his life, he said, “I was determined not to become what my father was.”
Two boys, with same parents, and same circumstances, but different perspectives. Don’t allow your circumstances to determine who you become in life.

We’ve all suffered something in life. We all know disappointment and loss. We all have a degree of brokenness, but that’s not powerful enough to stop us. Open your eyes darling, what lies within you is greater than what you see around you… You’re not a victim.

Love and light,
Nono Cele
Twitter: @Nono_Cele


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1 Comment

  • Tumi August 22, 2015 at 11:53 AM

    I just read this blog and you have just silenced some of my excuses sometimes. You are just remarkable!!! I’m going to read this blog every single morning before getting up. Thanks babe!

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