My Blog

While No One Was Looking

May 27, 2018


To the one who has always seen me when others weren’t looking.

I know you want them to, but not everyone can or will like you. In fact, not everyone should. It is for your own good that everyone doesn’t. We have been sold this silly idea that in order for us to be deemed important or valuable, we need to be liked by everyone, nothing could be further from the truth. We have seen many people sacrificing their integrity just to be liked, seen, retweeted, never knowing that the real power is in not needing to be seen. Please know that it is to your advantage that other people don’t like, favour, appreciate or value you. We often see this as a disadvantage because we incorrectly perceive their rejection as an indication of our worthlessness. We’ve become so scared of the rejection of people because we think if they don’t pay attention, it means we are not doing well. Let it be known; it’s when they turn their backs on you that you bloom. It’s when they aren’t watching that you excel, so God can have all the credit.

We have given other people too much power over us. You see, they cannot determine our worth or value—we do. Their rejection says nothing about our identity, our abilities, our potential or our power. Their rejection is the antidote we need to cure us of our dependency on others to define us—their rejection comes not to crush us but to set us free from our neediness to fit in or be accepted. It is that rejection that pushes us forward and forces us to look within ourselves for the answers so we can be all that we were created to be. More often than not, we view the rejection of people as a flaw on our behalf, in so doing, we limit ourselves because this line of thought causes us to be victims at the hands of powerless people who have no idea what greatness we carry with us.


I have suffered from such foolishness before—thinking I needed the validation of certain individuals in order for me to be happy. I waited. I worked. I tried relentlessly to impress people who could not [better yet, were not meant to] be impressed with me. I personalized their rejection of me and wrongfully believed that there was a standard I was not able to meet when in fact I was perfect for the purpose for which I am here to fulfil. While I was busy trying to show and convince them of my value and worth, the more they didn’t value me because I was not being my authentic self. In hindsight, I now realize I was keeping my own light from shining. My focus was on all the wrong things—seeking recognition and appreciation from people who have no ability to even give those things to themselves.

It’s not a mistake that people aren’t seeing the greatness in you—use that to be your platform to showcase what great things can happen [even] when no one is watching! Some of the great leaders we all know and admire have been referred to as an “overnight success” but what most people don’t know is that they are only called that because no one was paying attention to them when they were starting out. They were rejected but they didn’t see themselves as such. They became comfortable with winning away from the spotlight and that prepared them for world’s stage. Don’t get mad or upset when people leave and when no one calls and when everyone forgets to check up on you. Be careful not to develop a wounded spirit just because people are seemingly not noticing the progress you have made—why do you need them to acknowledge your progress anyway? Be busy with your purpose, your calling, your dreams, and rest assured everything will fall into place.


For too long, our generation has made fame the end game—but you don’t have to settle for so little just to be liked, retweeted or seen. Let the attention go to others, let them yearn for the spotlight, let them trend. You don’t need the attention of all these strangers, it will probably work against you anyway and leave you exposed and vulnerable. It will probably keep you from pursuing what matters– greatness. Get comfortable with being truly seen, truly known, and truly celebrated by the few that are really for you.


Not needing everyone to validate you creates room for you to be surrounded by real love. As you protect your purpose, the right people will walk into your life, the right eyes will land on you and the right crowd will celebrate you without you having to perform for them.


Love and Light,

Nono Cele

Tweet Me: @Nono_Cele


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