My Blog

When Losing is Winning

July 28, 2015


Have you ever wanted something so badly and not gotten (or acquired) it? Have you ever ached for a dream that seemed to die anyway? Have you ever given something your best shot and it still failed? Have you ever prayed for a breakthrough that never came? And just when you thought you would die, you didn’t…you lived on, and interesting enough, you found yourself OK without the thing you thought you could not be without. Does this sound familiar at all?


A few years ago I found myself in such a situation.

I was going through a tough time in my personal life, my family and I were mourning the loss of a relative (our beloved Phindile), it felt as if the only thing that was going right in my life at the time was my work. As a coping mechanism, I poured myself into my work and I invested my time in the office. I worked tirelessly without any complaints. I buried my pain in my craft. That year, numerous shows I was working on got nominated for various awards~ with my producer at the time! winning two.

A few months later, an opportunity for a promotion opened up. I was elated because I felt it was clear that I was the right person for the job; I had proven myself. I was sure that my work spoke for itself and this opportunity would allow me to showcase my creativity, enhance my managerial skills and most importantly, this job would provide me with enough money to take care of my parents. I got ahead of myself and started day-dreaming about the possible opportunities this promotion would open up for me. I was excited because this post would put me on the map as a young woman in the broadcasting world. The moment of truth came, and I was shattered when I didn’t get the job. I was given reasons as to why I had not gotten the post but my world along with my heart collapsed at hearing the news. Little did I know that not getting that job was the best thing for me because through that I gained something incredibly valuable~ faith to believe that I am not a victim of my circumstances but an artist who can choose to inspire herself and the world with her pain.


We all wish bad things wouldn’t happen but what most of us forget is that we grow most through trials, difficulties and challenges. There are countless stories of people who faced adversity both large and small, only to find that tremendous opportunity resulted from that very thing that seemed so painful and difficult. See, trouble always comes to build our character. Problems always come to develop a certain trait that we need for the next level.

Two years after that devastating time of my life, I found myself happier than I had ever been. The same position I was so eager to abandon afforded me the opportunity to heal from all I had lost. That position gave me a chance to build relationships that continue to lift me up today. When I look back, I am forced to acknowledge that I would not have been the best person for that post I once desired (even though I had convinced myself I was). Back then, I was doing OK outwardly but inwardly I was falling apart. I am so glad my life turned out the way it did. I am so grateful now for the doors that remained shut and forced me to look for solutions elsewhere. In a short space of time since then, I have traveled the world and I have had many great opportunities come to me, without the hassle of me chasing after them. Today, I sit here smiling, living the life of my dreams.


Every test, every struggle and every obstacle comes (never to break us but) to empower us and to prepare us for an even better future than we had in mind.

I have learnt that we should never chase what we should be waiting for… Right people find us when we are ready. Right opportunities can only come to us if we are well prepared for them. The right things happen when we are open to learning and growing ~ not when we are fighting and refusing to change.

I discovered that sometimes freedom is the realization that you can be happy and complete without the things that you thought you needed most. Sometimes freedom is finding happiness without needing everything you thought you wanted. Isn’t it amazing that our dreams can be answered through our plans falling apart?

In most cases, losing is winning in many ways, but we are so consumed with our pain that our vision is blurred. Don’t ever underestimate your pain; it’s there to teach you a lesson. Be a good student!


Stay amazing,

Nono Cele

Twitter: @Nono_Cele


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