There seems to be a presumption in our society that it’s okay to shame people for their flaws, weaknesses and mistakes. In fact, social media has perpetuated this kind of thinking. We’ve seen people trend for all the wrong reasons and it seems perfectly okay to laugh at their bad decisions or misfortune or pain. But what we don’t realize is that by doing so, we (knowingly or unknowingly) teach people to be anyone else but themselves. We teach them that anything less than perfection is not acceptable. We teach people to lie to us and to themselves. We teach them to hide the essence of who they really are… and we get surprised when our relationships are shallow and temporary. When we treat people this way, where do we propose they go with their brokenness? How do we expect them to become better? How do we expect them to heal and to change? Have we no hope for broken people? Is there no forgiveness for those who offend us? Is the only solution to our disappointment to discard people? If that is the case, then we are headed for turmoil because sooner or later, we too will find ourselves beaten by life and we will have nowhere to turn.
We have to stop shaming people for their flaws. We have to stop making people feel like they are a failure when they try something and it doesn’t succeed. We have to stop making fun of people whose mistakes are public or out in the open (while our secrets are tucked away). We have to stop crucifying people for being human. I am not saying we should excuse bad behaviour, but we are wrong when we attack the person instead of dealing with their behaviour. We need not break the human spirit. People need to know that there is such a thing as a second chance. People need hope- they need to know that they can be forgiven, they can be restored and they can bounce back from any mess they might find themselves in.
Once upon a time, I got myself in something I couldn’t get myself out of. I found myself damaged. And I needed help but I was too ashamed to ask for it. I hid in my corner because I believed that I deserved the punishment. I was young and naïve and I thought that “bad people” like me didn’t deserve second chances. I accepted that my mistakes warranted my loneliness. I embraced my pain because I felt that it was justified… I didn’t know that as damaged as I felt, I could be restored. Id dint know that I still had something in me to share with the world. I didn’t know that I didn’t have to look like someone else to be beautiful. I didn’t know that I could reject the shame and embrace new possibilities for my life. I didn’t know that I didn’t have to stay in hiding. I didn’t know that it is possible to overcome even the worst things and change…
We have to stop making people feel like they can’t recover from mistakes or overcome their brokenness. We have to stop punishing people for the errors made. People hide because we have taught them that it’s not okay to be themselves. People isolate themselves because we are a society that is quick to point fingers, quick to criticize and quick to label them and quick to make them feel as though they don’t belong. And we wonder why so many are depressed, struggling with drugs and at the verge of committing suicide.
Let’s not teach each other to be fake towards one another. We forget that love cannot thrive where there’s no transparency. We cannot know true love until we stop pretending to be something we are not. Love is hurt by pretentiousness, because love cannot stand a lie. It is weakened by it. It is damaged by falsehood. Love has strength and courage to see past one’s failures and mistakes… Love sees past the scars and sees lessons.
We live in a real world and we need to be real too…
Love and Light,
Tweet Me: @Nono_Cele
Email address: firstname.lastname@example.org