Guest Blogger

The Year of the Gentleman

March 6, 2013

A few years ago I wrote about the things I miss most about the 90’s, I was overwhelmed by the response on Twitter, I had no idea so many people shared the same sentiments for days gone by…
The link for that article here:


As I read what I wrote three years ago, I started to reminisce about my childhood, growing up, I was a happy, free-spirit who was always out playing…and my mind drifted to the kids of today and why they don’t know the joy we knew when we had so little (and they have so much). There are many factors that contribute to that, but there is that core issue in our society, an emptiness, restlessness. It dawned on me that although we have advanced, our biggest issue is that we are not free, we live in constant fear of what could happen because we are without our hero, our protector, we are without the man of the house… this is for that dearly missed, rare gem…

No matter how empowered women have become, it is no secret that it will never be enough because though she may try, a woman can never fulfill a man’s role. One thing I miss most in our society, in our communities, in our streets, is a gentleman. Remember that guy? Many have forgotten him, maybe you still hold a blurry idea of who he is. Because of my wonderful, loving dad, I am reminded on a regular basis of the gentleman.
And to be honest, I fear that by the time my girl children (daughters) date, they won’t have a clue who the “gentleman” is and that’s why we, as a society (especially ladies, sisters, moms, wives) need to preserve the innocence of a gentleman and stop rubbishing men.

Dictionary definition: Gentleman
Honorable man, Noble, Courteous, Polite, Respectful man

Yes, the gentleman opens the doors, carries shopping bags, buys flowers and fixes appliances. But there is so much more to him than that, he brings out the best in a gal. Everything about him is exceptional and admirable: the way he carries himself (a perfect balance of confidence and humility), his tone of encouragement, his mind (always looking out for everyone’s best interest). He always says “Please” and “Thank you” and never too proud to say “I’m sorry.” He is a gentleman.
Society has made a joke out of him nowadays though. They put derogatory labels on him because he is kind, thoughtful and compassionate. Society mocks him because he cares more for giving than he is for taking. They ridicule him because he protects, does not oppress or violate. He wouldn’t dare use his hands to hurt a woman. Sadly, in these days of power, positions and possessions, in not so many words, the gentleman has been told there is no place for him in the world.

The gentleman is missed. For too long his kindness has been mistaken for weakness.
I don’t doubt that there are still few of them left, but what saddens me is that we (as a society) have discouraged the gentleman and promoted arrogance, power and money.
And no doubt, some of us ladies have played a huge part in the scarcity of the gentleman, and for that (on behalf of the ladies), I am sorry that in our lack of wisdom, we destroyed a gem.

As a result of the scarcity of the gentleman, men in 2013 are beating women, raping and shooting them.
Gentleman, you are missed, the same way I’m sure you miss A Lady…

Love always,
Nono Cele
Twitter: @Nono_Cele

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