My Blog

The Love Issue

February 13, 2013


The greatest injustice done to this generation is that we were not told often enough that we are loved and therefore we don’t completely believe we are worthy of love. In the midst of fighting for our freedom and becoming a rainbow nation, somehow love took a back seat in our families, in our communities, in our country. Look at the lengths people go to just to be accepted, to be loved… We are an attention-seeking, attention-hungry generation waiting for someone to approve of us, waiting for someone to love us, to accept us.

Love… That is almost a foreign concept to us. We think of love as a weakness because in this crazy generation of ours, caring for someone else more than we care about ourselves is a burden, it is foolishness. We have reduced love to nothingness. And we’ve come up with these “clever” sayings, “Love hurts,” and “Love is blind,” sadly, we believe these lies about love, we have come to expect love to hurt, to involve pain and tears. We need to bring back the days of “Love conquers all,” the days when we believed “All you need is love,” and when it was important to us to “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”

Sadly, in the name of love, many have endured unimaginable pain, many have been taken for a ride, bruised, abused, hurt, heartbroken… but love is none of these things. That’s not what love is all about.
For most of us, someone who was supposed to love and protect us hurt us, disappointed us or left us, and we go through life with a negative attitude towards love, never realizing that it is not love that hurt us but that person’s poor decision making. When all we know of love is pain, our definition of love is tainted, broken, misguided.

Also adding to the list of issues we have with love is the sad reality that this generation has simplified the power of love to a mere feeling. We jump from one relationship to another and we assume that that’s what love is (it comes and goes; inconsistent; unfaithful)- love is not that.

Love is slow to suspect but quick to trust; slow to offend but quick to defend; slow to expose but quick to shield; slow to reprimand but quick to empathise; slow to belittle but quick to appreciate; slow to demand but quick to give; slow to provoke but quick to help; slow to resent but quick to forgive.

Another lie we have accepted about love is that love is something we have to earn or work for. We don’t know how to accept the kind of love that has nothing to do with our effort or performance because it has been drilled into us that when we do well, we are lovable, whereas, when we don’t meet certain expectations, we are not worthy of love. This kind of love is not a true reflection of what love is.

Today, remove any negative thoughts you have associated with love.
Love is so much more than what we have reduced it to. Love is so much more than what we have settled for. Love is not weakness, love is strength. Love is power. Love cares more for giving than it is for taking. Love prioritizes peace, kindness and forgiveness.
Love is simply beautiful… And we (you and I) are deserving of such amazing love.

Love Always,
Nono Cele
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Follow me on Twitter: @Nono_Cele

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
– 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

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