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The Gift of Goodbye

October 22, 2012

2012 has been a challenging year for me, with its many ups and downs I think the best word I can use to describe this year is “bittersweet”. I had to learn to live without people I thought would always be there for me, but in the process, I found a way of standing when standing wasn’t easy. So you see, there is always a silver lining. The highs this year were very high and the lows were very low- a painful yet amazing year. Given all that, it is said, it’s not how you start, it’s how you finish. With two months left, I’m geared up to end this year on high…and I ask you join me in making 2012 count.

I’m a firm believer that there is no quicker way to happiness than to let go of all that doesn’t serve your happiness. Most of the time we are the reason (or cause) of our own unhappiness because we hold on to pain, anger and offense. I remember when my cousin passed on, I held on to that pain, I was hurt by God’s decision to take him from us… I lay awake at night, replaying our last conversation in my mind wishing I’d said things I will never get the opportunity to say to him again. For a long time, all that occupied my mind was how sad I was that he was gone- but now, I’m glad he lived.

Sometimes, as much as something hurts, we just need to let go… So many people are on a hunt for happiness but aren’t willing to make decisions that can give them that happiness.
To find happiness, we need to let go of unhappiness…and we will find it within. What purpose does anger, bitterness, jealousy serve in your life? If anything, these emotions rob you of happiness.
I had to choose to live a life that would’ve made my cousin proud of me, I know he would’ve wanted me to be happy. And choosing to let go doesn’t mean forgetting, it means, remembering without hurting…

And I am grateful for people who walked away- friends who said they’ll always be there but weren’t… I’m not even bitter, I’m grateful. See, sometimes you don’t know how strong you are until people leave. This year also saw me making the decision to be single again… In all honesty, I regretted that decision many times but as great a guy as he was to me, I think my ex and I would’ve held each other back and made each other incredibly unhappy had we decided to stay together. Truth is, we didn’t share the same vision and that was difficult for us to admit. Our breakup was incredibly painful but I see now that it was necessary.

In this journey called life, we will lose things and people along the way, but we can’t look at that as the end of life… it’s part of growing up. And holding on often hurts more than letting go.

Be the kind of person who is moving forward in life.

Love always,
Nono Cele

The gift of goodbye means when somebody chooses to leave, you may not realize it right away, but they just did you a huge favor. Maybe that person was holding you back. Maybe they were keeping you from spreading your wings. Maybe they weren’t a good influence. When somebody leaves your life, a business partner, a friend, a neighbor, a coworker; don’t take it personally. Don’t get upset. Don’t try to talk them into staying. Let God do a new thing in your life.

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