We’ve heard it being said that sometimes we stare so long and so regretfully at the closed door that we do not see the one being opened for us. That was the lesson I needed this week. I was minding my own business on Wednesday when I came across someone I spent over a year missing, loving and struggling to let go of, and to my shock, I couldn’t even remember the things I liked about that person. I stared at someone I thought I needed and realized just how much happier I am without them, and for the first time in almost two years, I was glad that I decided to walk away. Just standing there, I realized how far I have come as a person.
As I drove away, my only regret was that I didn’t move on from the fallout soon enough. I regretted the fact that I spent so much time asking myself if I had made the correct decision, I regretted the fact that instead of smiling more, I was busy making myself feel bad about someone who never appreciated me to begin with. My only regret is that I didn’t see myself then with as much clarity as I do now. What a moment of liberty it was for me.
We have a tendency of giving the things that hurt us more attention and we end up wasting our time (and lives) crying over what didn’t work, instead of investing our time and energy on positive things. We dwell on self-pity for so long, and good opportunities pass us by. Entertaining thoughts and feelings of failure and regret causes us to lose focus; we need to learn to rise above life’s situations.
Yes, sometimes in life, the things that happen to us bring us to tears and that’s OK; cry, but keep moving.
When life isn’t going our way, we can’t allow our feelings to dictate the way forward. We have to decide that no matter what comes against us, no matter what tries to distract us, no matter how we feel, we are not going to have a pity party. No, we won’t sit around around feeling sorry for ourselves. And we won’t invite people to come cry with us and feel sorry for us; as long as we are alive- we aren’t beaten. We can stand.
Too often, we keep looking behind us, we keep making reference to what someone did, we keep pointing to our mistakes, we keep tripping on things that we could’ve chosen to let go of. We need to move on from the point of hurt, disappointment and failure. We need to move on so we can find freedom. We need to realize that it is our laughter, not our cry that will change the world. We need to stop hindering our own progress by holding on to hurtful memories. We need to trust that our tomorrows are better than our yesterdays. We need to discourage people who constantly want us to nurse our hurts, we need people around us who will encourage us to stand again, try again, smile again, laugh again. We have to know that no situation can be the end of us if we can stand again…
I encourage you to move on quickly from yesterday… as the dawn breaks, a new day awaits.