At a time when I was desperate to hear God speak directly to me, these words came out of me with tears— I hope they have a profound impact on you, as they did on me. At the time these were written, my family had been under great difficulty as my dad was fighting for his life in hospital. After six months of hospital visits, doctors updates and constant prayers, it felt as though someone had punched us in the stomach. The more we prayed, the less progress we saw. The more we believed for healing, the more ridiculous our faith seemed to be. The more time passed, the more difficult it was to endure. My heart was greatly burdened.
As I sat down to speak to the Lord one night, these are the words He gave me:
My daughter, my heart aches over you.
My heart aches because you are oblivious to how brilliant, how wonderful, how beautiful you are to me!
Every time I look at you, I smile. I rejoice over you with singing! My heart bleeds because you are not fully aware of the depth of love with which you are loved!
I see you going through life with so much strain that you don’t allow me to make easy for you. I see you struggle with many burdens that you are scared to bring to me. And it grieves my heart to see you live this way, as though you have no Father. All I want to do is to love you, care for you, make Myself known to you.
I long for you to trust me to be good to you. There’s no greater joy than when you rest on my shoulder and recite my promises, for I am a promise keeper.
You cannot hear me clearly when the worries, anxieties, issues and fears of life are so loud in your ear. So today, I’d like our time together to be time for you to listen. Be still. Hear My voice. Allow me to speak to your heart. Let me pour into you. Let me remind you who you are and whose you are. Let me hold you, baby girl. Let me carry your every concern. Let me heal the wounds, aches, bruises. Let me take the disappointment. Let me hold your fears. Let me know your desires. Let me apply on you the balm of Gilead that soothes.
Let me tell you just how perfect you are without trying. Let me reassure you that I care about every detail of your life.
Take off these shackles and expectations that the world has put on you. Throw away these boxes you have squeezed yourself into and be free— as I intended you to be! Breathe, my beloved. I am never too far.
You don’t have to hide anymore. I see you— and all your imperfections, and I still love you.
You can be so hard on yourself at times forgetting that you are not failing me, I am pleased with you. You are Mine.
You were never designed for all these things you’re carrying. You were designed for love, baby. Let me love you. Let me fill the void of what’s missing.
You cannot know yourself apart from Me. Come back to me.
— The One who loves you