I know as a single girl, most of us are always talking about our desire to get into a relationship that will lead to marriage. But it recently dawned on me that most of us say we want things that we aren’t ready for. If we are honest with ourselves, some of us have not given enough thought to what we are really signing up for. As a result, we tend to feel disappointed and discouraged when we get into a relationship because we are overwhelmed by how much work it takes to stay in a happy and healthy relationship.
Before we make major decisions in life, we really need to ask ourselves this question, “Am I aware of what I am signing up for?”
We need to manage our expectations and realize that the things we say we want bring change. It seems to me, before we get into a relationship, we have a tendency of forgetting that bringing someone into our lives entails change. A relationship means exchanging the “I” for a “we”. Some of us want a relationship without making room for the next person- that is selfish. Being in a relationship means making time for your partner; it means your life is not solely about you but about “us”. When you bring someone into your life, it is unfair for you to expect things to stay the same. If you aren’t willing to make room for your partner,perhaps, you aren’t ready to be in a relationship.
Relationships require time; patience; emotional intelligence; communication; and so much more. Consider that before wishing upon a star for a perfect mate- are you ready for all that a relationship entails?
There are so many things we wouldn’t do and wouldn’t desire if we thought about what we are really signing up for.
Likewise, before buying that car you’ve been eyeing, consider what you are signing up for. It’s not about affording car; it’s whether you can maintain it. Before you sign on the dotted line for that job, consider what you are signing up for- the long hours, the travelling, and the salary. I am all for progress, but I encourage wisdom first. Think about what you are getting yourself into thoroughly so that you don’t find yourself trapped and unhappy in a few months’ time over something you thought you wanted.
Think about the friendships, the relationships and business ventures that have failed because you didn’t understand what you were getting yourself into. Perhaps, if you’d thought about what you were signing up for, you would’ve avoided many upsets, many tears, and much heartache. Nonetheless, I trust that we have learnt from our mistakes and we are better for it.
Remember, before saying “I do”, before making promises you can’t keep; before you break someone else’s heart; before you get yourself into debt; before you make a decision you might live to regret- ask yourself, Am I ready, and can I maintain what I am signing up for?