My Blog

Just Friends

October 3, 2013

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I read an article that said relationships that are most likely to last are those that started as friendships. What an interesting statement, I thought. Maybe our biggest issue in relationships isn’t the fact that we are too busy, it’s the fact that we don’t know how to be friends. Better yet, we don’t know how to be a good friend. And because of that, we are always losing and falling short in relationships.

Friendship, a simple concept, where people share, love, laugh and cry together, without the burden of having to pretend to be anyone but yourself.
I found a definition of friend that said a friend is a person whom one knows, likes, and trusts. What a powerful definition. What a pity that we live in a society that has underestimated and frowned upon friendship. So therein lies the first question, do we know how to be a good friend? Or are we takers, opportunists, plotters? Using the definition of a friend above, who knows us, who likes us, who trusts us?

Sometimes we ruin the most beautiful friendships because want to convert them into something they are not and can never be.
I have discovered that there are many (good looking) people who come into our lives to be blessings to us; they come to teach us certain lessons, they come to support us through a certain season of life- but our biggest mistake when it comes to relationships is that we are always trying to convert kindness into something more than what it is. We don’t know how to be just friends anymore. When someone of the opposite sex compliments us, we are quick to assume that they want to date us; it rarely crosses our minds that they are just being polite. Our minds are filled with so much clutter that when we are blessed with a friend, we take that blessing and misuse it and yet we are shocked when the results produced only hurt us. We have taken friendship for granted for so long that when we see a prosperous friendship between a man and a woman we question it. We almost want to imply that there is more to it than friendship because we have never been a good friend to the opposite sex.

One of my best friends is a guy- and simply put, best friends don’t get better than that. He is the warmest, kindest and funniest person I know. He understands me so well, sometimes I can’t believe that he gets me the way he does. But that doesn’t mean we should be more than friends; we both know our purpose in each other’s lives. We talk, we support each other, we are there for each other. We are good friends; just friends.

So I leave you with this thought this week: Instead of trying to turn every friendship into a relationship, it would be so nice if we just learnt to be friends…good friends at that!

Love Always,
Nono Cele
Twitter: @Nono_Cele
Email: nono@nonocele.co.za

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