My Blog

It’s A (Wo)man’s World

November 7, 2013


After their first date, a guy tried opening the car door for the lady he was with. At which point she turned and remarked, “I can open my own door.”
Feeling rejected, the guy made an angry comment on social media that women no longer want to be taken care of. Equally irked by this lady’s reaction to this kind gesture, I understood his frustration. But I disagree with his comment, nothing could be further from the truth, women want to be taken care of.

I have never met a woman who didn’t want to be taken care of. We are smart, we are strong, we are powerful and capable of opening our own doors, but we love men who treat us well. Contrary to popular belief, we love being taken care of. As advanced as we have become, I believe as women, we still want the basics – we want someone who sees us, who values us, who cares for us.
I know it’s been said over and over again that women want independence and the glitz and glam (also known as the good life), but what most men don’t know is that women crave something deeper than that, we crave for intimacy. That is why money does not satisfy women, at the core of our need is our desire to be needed, to be loved, to be taken care of.
Men need to look beyond the shoes and Louis Vuitton bags that women hide behind, and see a woman’s real desire, to be wanted and valued for who she is.

If, as a woman, you feel inferior and defensive when a man wants to take care of you, you need to look deeper within yourself and find the root of your insecurity. Him taking care of you and paying for a meal doesn’t mean you can’t take care of yourself. Allow him to be good to you.
Let’s not misinterpret the independence of ladies as ladies not needing men to play their role in life, at home and at work. Let’s not confuse the success of women with women not needing men. Women can live without men, but what kind of life would that be? I think of my father, my brothers, my male friends and all that they have contributed to my life- I wouldn’t be the person I am without them.
Women can be whatever they want to be in life, but they cannot be men. It’s not that women are inferior, but as Marilyn Monroe once said, women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
As ladies, we need to be good at being women, not trying to be men. And boys need to grow up and be the men that our intelligent, strong, powerful sisters deserve.

We have seen it happen over and over again, a woman will cheat on a rich man with a man who seemingly has nothing but good manners. Why? Because women want so much more than money, we crave for intimacy- a simple man who sees our beauty, a man who appreciates our presence and can make us feel like we are the most important people in the world. We want to be taken care of.

Ladies, there is no substitute for a man who treats you well- don’t discourage him, appreciate him. And gents, if a woman doesn’t want you opening doors for her, wait for the Queen who enjoys you opening her doors for her.
And please remember, life is not about women vs men, it’s about women and men.

Love always,
Nono Cele
Twitter: @Nono_Cele

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