Nono's Thoughts

Ever Missed

February 27, 2012

Nothing quite prepares you for death. No matter how strong you think you are. My friend, Yolokazi pointed out “Death is so permanent.” How true.

A few weeks ago, my family faced what was to me, the most painful experience yet. On the evening of 4th February, I got home after a long day at work producing Hello Africa to be greeted by my brother’s text message stating that my cousin had been stabbed. That moment, I can never forget. I immediately felt sick to my stomach. I had so many questions I wanted to ask: how, when, where, most importantly, WHY? An hour later… I quit torturing myself with questions and dialed my brother’s number… And I wept at the news that my cousin had passed.

Someone so hard working, so smart, so full of love… someone who took care of his family, so responsible, so kind. He taught me so much about life… and because words will never be enough to express who he was to us, this is for him:

We just can’t get used to it.

We don’t know how to carry on-we miss you so much.

It’s been a while now yet we’re still scarred, we are still in pain, we still feel so wounded.

The news of your passing took us by surprise; we were not ready to lose your smile that once brightened our lives.

We miss your stories, we miss how your presence filled our home, we miss everything about you.

And comes that moment when I hear a joke you would’ve laughed at and it makes me teary…

Or that moment when I dial your number, and it goes to voicemail and I remember why…

What am I to do? Your absence so painful…

Let me tell you- things never got back to normal for us…

Family gatherings aren’t the same, your vacant place, only you can fill.

We are glad you lived, yet so sad you left us so soon.

How we need you… What can we do, what can we say, how can we ever have you back again?

I guess we must accept what is.

In memory of you, who touched our hearts so much.

Ever missed. Ever loved.

–          Nono Cele

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