27 December 2012, what a special occasion! 20 something years ago my parents welcomed me into the world. It’s been quite a journey from then to now; I have made great friends and lost a few… I have laughed so much I cried, but I’ve also cried myself to sleep. I have loved wholeheartedly only for my heart to be shattered into pieces. I have traveled all corners of my country, to find that there is no place like home. I have made many mistakes along the way, but under the guidance of my parents, I have learnt these valuable lessons: to love myself enough not to settle for less, to be patient with my myself when I make mistakes, to accept myself as I am, to see myself for who I truly am, a Queen.
Being a Queen doesn’t mean being a diva about it, it’s about knowing who you are and carrying yourself well. And people who love themselves love others. Queens don’t compete with others, they are content with who they are. It took me a while to realize this truth because society tells us (lies) that in order to be a Queen, we have to emulate others, therefore not being true to ourselves. Many are under the misconception that in order to be a Queen, one must be as tall as Naomi Campbell, as bootylicious as Beyonce, as sexy Meagan Good, as ‘perfect’ as Michelle Obama, as successful as Oprah… This can only lead to discontentment with ourselves. The power of a Queen is in her ability to be happy with herself, fully understanding that there is a purpose for her life that no one else can fulfill, running her race at her own pace.
Also contributing to the demise of Kings and Queens in this day and age is the sad reality that our generation has a (nasty) habit of giving up too soon on what we know we deserve and we settle for less. It’s sad to see young people going through life with a defeated spirit. I dare say, part of the reason for this is;,we are not patient enough… We want quick results to everything. I tweeted last week that even in our relationships, we jump into love too quickly, kiss too soon, have sex too early.
We need to be willing to wait for our hard work to bare fruit; willing to go through the heat in order to win the prize; strong enough to stay confident in the face of criticism, willing to wait for the right girl or guy… We need to quit settling for crumbs, half-baked relationships, sort-of-good jobs, OK lives.
Not settling for less also means not settling for less from yourself. Too often we set high standards for others but we don’t even meet those standards. I get it, we want great people in our lives, kind people, loving people, but are we any of those things first? If we want all these good things, we need to step up. This year challenged me to be more…
If you want the best, you have to be the best.
On that note, Happy Birthday to me! Let’s celebrate!
Below is a poem by Paulo Neruda that I love, fit for a queen….
I have named you queen.
There are taller than you, taller.
There are purer than you, purer.
There are lovelier than you, lovelier.
But you are the queen.