I don’t remember the day it started but I remember my heart being so heavy that I struggled to get out of bed. My spirit was weary and my knees were weak. I remember feeling like I had failed and I had no strength to lift myself up. It was the loneliest feeling I had ever felt. I reached for my phone, carefully scrolling through my contacts list, looking for a person I could call and talk to but found none. The reason was this: I didn’t know how to express what I was going through and that scared me. Nothing was wrong, my life was seemingly okay on the outside but emotionally, I was falling apart. I had become so weary from doing the best I can and seeing little or no results. I felt stagnant and I hated it. I didn’t know how to explain this to someone else without feeling like I was crazy. Alone, the voice in my head said, you are so very alone. I knew this wasn’t true, but what I was feeling defied everything my mind knew. I was overwhelmed by feelings of discouragement I felt incredibly dissatisfied with my life. I knew my family loved me, I knew I had a lot to look forward to, I knew there was a lot to be grateful for in my life… but I found myself imprisoned by my own unmet expectations. I mourned the dreams that had died and I wept for the dreams delayed and I was grieved by the opportunities that had slipped through my fingers. I was deeply unhappy and I didn’t know where to take my pain. I was disappointed with my life and I didn’t know how to fix it.
I’m well aware that some people won’t relate to this and that is okay, this is for every person who has ever felt like they aren’t measuring up or doing well enough. This is for every person who has ever battled with insecurities; hopelessness; fears; discouragement; doubts; depression—you are not alone. The truth is: sometimes life doesn’t make sense and there are answers no one can give you but in the midst of all that confusion, you have the power and ability to overcome all your fears by returning to yourself. When seasons of loneliness and hopelessness come; please remember who you are—a gift to the world. You don’t have to measure up, you set the standard. The world can be so loud about who we should be that if we are not careful, we fall into the trap of wanting to be what we were never created to be and find ourselves lost, dissatisfied and empty. The answer to all the noise is authenticity—be who you were called to be. Un-complicate your life with simplicity. Let go of everything you think you need to be and embrace who you are. Most of us find ourselves worn out because our focus is on what we don’t have; or what we are not—it’s time to return to the essence of who we are.
The enemy’s only strategy against us is to make us doubt our own power; worth and value. Doubt is a lethal weapon against our well-being because it strips us of power, rest and confidence—leaving us broken, weak, defeated. The enemy can only win if he uses own minds against us. He knows we are smart enough to reject the lie that we are worthless; but what he does well is that he plants a few seeds of fear and doubt in us, fully knowing that they are toxic enough to poisons our minds.
When days are dark, and you’re not feeling so amazing, please remember the power you posses within and let it remind you that there is nothing you can’t overcome. Remember that the only weapon the enemy can use against you is your own mind and refuse to allow him to dominate your mind with thoughts of hopelessness. Remember how far you’ve come, remember the good you’ve contributed to the world; remember that you are doing better than you think. On days when getting out of bed feels like a mission; hold this truth close to your heart: the world is blessed to have you—it really is. Remember that greatness awaits you and you will live to inspire others with your journey. I believe that as you fill your mind with these truths, you will find strength to try again; dream again; laugh again– and get out of bed.
Love and light,
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