The love of God never gives on me. There have been times I thought I could exhaust its supply and drain all of Heaven’s resources and blessings. There have been moments when I thought, This time, surely God has given up on me and will not be bothered by my reckless self.
I’ve done over a billion things to discourage God’s love and said a hundred million things to hurt it, but still, I wake up every morning to it’s relentless pursuit of me.
Rebelliously I’ve screamed, “I have nothing to offer You!”
Over and over again, I’ve heard Him say I am what He is after as though I were something or someone so rare and unique and special. It was as though He had mistaken me for someone else, and I couldn’t stand it because I knew who I was and that knowledge made me want to hide. My flaws, my imperfections and my wounds disgusted and repulsed me. I thought, if I distracted myself with activities, eventually, God’s voice and God’s love would forget all about me but I was wrong. When I was chasing expensive labels and trying to maintain dying friendships and keeping up with Instagram, God’s love waited for me and told me my value.
Confused by this lavish grace, I’ve reasoned with God that I’m a mess beyond repairs. I played back to Him the montage of my deeply flawed and disappointing life. I listed to Him all my sins and reminded Him of all the times I have tried (and tried) to change but still failed and did the things I said I wouldn’t do. I highlighted to Him that His time and effort would be better spent on people whose hearts are kind and loving and generous by nature— but still He says, “I choose you.”
God’s love for me knows no bounds.
It knows no limitations. It recognizes no obstacles. It overcomes all fear. It breaks every barrier. It tears down every lie.
It comes after me even when I’m in a pigsty. It pursues me even when I’ve cheaply given myself away to friendships and pursuits that leave me empty. It climbs over walls, moves mountains and breaks chains.
God’s love for me puts itself in the line of danger— yea, even death— just to make itself known to me. It puts up with my selfish and stubborn ways until I’m completely undone and changed by its gentleness and grace towards me. God doesn’t send a search party to find me when I’m lost— no, God dares to come looking for me Himself and lovingly wraps me in His arms. God’s love removes my garments of shame and guilt and self pity and urges me to cling to its power to forgive, to transform and restore.
In three words God’s love lets me know I’m loved, “I’m your Father.”
In two words God’s love dismantles all my defensive ways, “You’re Mine.”
In one word God’s love makes me secure, “Rest.”
God’s love nurses me back to wellness when I’m sick and restores my soul when I’m wounded. God’s love teaches me to ask for things I didn’t even know I needed and rewards me with things I have never even asked for. I have often walked out on this love because it was too good and I knew I was so undeserving, yet it still found me and brought me back. God’s love says, “Rest, Trust, Rely.” It tells me that I’m the head and not the tail. It reminds me that I’m above and never beneath. It baffles mind and compels me to believe I am really and truly loved.
It sees me for all I am and I could be and all I was created to be. It breaks bondages and renews my mind and heals my heart. It instructs me to be still, fearing nothing. God’s love for me is amazing… the only thing left for me to do is to receive.
May you collide with this love over and over again in 2018 until you see yourself through the eyes of the King.
Love and light,
Tweet Me: @Nono_Cele
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