When I was lost, You sought after me. The more You drew near, the more I pulled away. I was angry. I was hurt. I was ashamed. And so I told You I could not allow myself to be loved by You. I had simply failed too many times. I had tried to be good but I always fell short. I was tired of failing and feeling like I did not measure up. I had done so much wrong that I could not see how You and I could forge a healthy relationship. So I walked away— keeping You at a distance. I assumed that if I quietly withdrew You’d be better off without me. I didn’t even consider that You’d care, let alone notice me in the background. I just didn’t want to bother You anymore. I felt so ashamed and broken and disgusted with my sin. No positives talk could get me to accept that a God like You would ever forgive a failure like me. And my weaknesses convinced me that I was not worthy of Your love.
Over the years, I have found that You are more than what my little mind can comprehend.
You are the Jesus of my good times and you remain Jesus in bad times.
You are Jesus who is with me during the day and Jesus who stays with me in the darkness of the night.
You are Jesus when it is well with me and Jesus when all of me is riddled with pain!
You are my Jesus when I rejoice, and Jesus who is my healer when I’m sick.
You are my Jesus when people are around me and You are my friend when people forget all about me.
You are Jesus who opens my doors and You are my Shield when the enemies are out to destroy me.
This I know Lord, I may not have chosen You but You chose me. I may be incredibly flawed and deeply scarred but You see past my imperfections. None of these things can disqualify me. I am ready to accept that for reasons I do not know, I’m chosen and I rejoice in this knowledge. I am chosen by Love. I am chosen by my Creator. I am chosen regardless of my issues.
You are the Jesus of my painful places, and the Jesus of my joy! You are the Jesus who celebrates me when I do well and the Jesus who comes to pick me up when I’ve fallen. You are the Jesus who knows me so well and yet loves me so much! You are my Jesus when plans are falling into place and Jesus when plans fall apart.
Lord, how many times have I disappointed You? Neglected You? Put You on hold? And yet, Your love pursues me. For I belong to YOU!
Nothing I’ve done and nothing I can do can discourage Your love for me! In spite of myself, You still choose me. I can never fully understand what You see in me. I have given up trying to understand the value You see, but Lord, I am grateful.
You clothe me with joy and You put a ring of victory on me, and You elevate me far beyond my prayers. But God, I don’t deserve any of this. Yet You still choose me. You never give up on me. It’s so overwhelming. It’s humbling to me… I don’t know what I can do to make all Your efforts worth the sacrifice. I have nothing that I can offer You except my life. Come live in me, make my heart Your dwelling place.