Why do we sometimes feel such a contradiction of emotions when someone we know has a good fortune? Why do we suddenly feel inadequate or stagnant when others succeed? Why is it that the success of people we know challenges us so much more compared to the success of strangers? More often than not, most relationships and friendships have died because of secret envy. The truth is, it is not an easy thing to admit to yourself that you are secretly jealous of someone you are supposed to love and support. If our friendships and relationships are going to last, we need to be wary of secret competition and envy. If we are going to be people of excellence, we need to confront our secret issues and learn not to set ourselves and those we love up for destruction.
Simply put, envy is us wishing we had what someone else has. We want their talents, their resources, their gifts, their relationships, their abilities, and their stuff- we don’t want ours. We convince ourselves that they are better and by default, we are worse- this is a lie that causes us to hate ourselves and envy others… we need to accept that not everything is about us. There are moments when it is OK to be behind the scenes of someone’s success. When a friend is getting married, we need to learn to be happy without putting ourselves under pressure to get married too.
We need to learn to be inspired by the progress of others. Their success does not take away from our own greatness. Be glad when people around you are doing well. Realize that they are running their race and you need to run yours. When you see another person’s win as a loss for you, you pave the way for discouragement and resentment to set in. Instead allow other people’s success to ignite hope for the success coming in your time of harvest.
We need to see other people’s progress for what it is; progress for them, not competition for us.
The same way the body has many parts, all equally important; you have your own role to play in a big world. We can’t all do the same thing, we can’t all be good at the same thing- but we can all be good at being who we are. It’s okay to want more – we all do. But we should never compete with others. The worst thing about competing is that competition makes one of us a loser.
If you are going to win in life, you have to keep your heart pure and your mind free from self-defeating thoughts… and your shoulders aren’t broad enough to carry excess baggage caused by envy. You can’t win in life with hate in your heart. Keep setting yourself free from anything that forces you to live a life of dissatisfaction. And when you learn to appreciate others when they do well, the world will applaud you when you win.
Love and light,